Hello to all dear visitors to my child’s world, there
is no doubt that mistakes happen all the time because we are human
beings and we have to accept that, and therefore we have to accept
the mistakes of our children and teach them how to correct the mistake
instead of blaming them, so they blame themselves later and fall into
the same trap that we ourselves are struggling to escape from. All the
time the trap of idealism and self-blame. Likewise, a distinction must
be made while it is wrong and it is natural to happen, and while it is
harmful behavior, it is considered a problem and needs treatment by the
people of remembrance and specialists.
A very simple and practical example
:
When
we hold the cup we know that we must not tilt it or it will spill. How
do we know that? The simple answer: We've tried that before. The
complex answer. We know that there is “gravity,” and that by tilting
the cup we expose that liquid to spill and fall to the ground due to
gravity. The result. We have to hold the cup well so that it does not
spill. How long did it take us to know that? 18 years or more, so
ignorance is the cause of mistakes?
Maybe..
but.. here we are, with our long experience, our experiences, and our
lives, does the cup never spill from us? No, sometimes it spills against
our will. Mistakes happen all the time. We conclude from this that knowledge is also not enough to prevent errors.
What
is normal for us is unknown to them, that simple, intuitive information
that we think we know by nature, we learned through experience and
expertise, and we have come a long way in our lives to become normal and
intuitive to us.
That
phrase that we shout angrily all the time at every mistake they make
does not make sense at all. Be merciful to yourself so that you can be
merciful to your children.
What happens in the souls of our children when we punish them wrongly?
1- Resentment:
The
idea forms in his mind that adults are different from those of his age
and that they are not kind or merciful. He says to himself that this is
unfair and I will not trust adults.
2- Revenge:
He says to himself, “They have defeated me now, but I will win after that.”
3. Rebellion:
He says to himself, “I will go in the opposite direction just to prove my ability to them.”
4. Evasion:
He will think of bigger tricks to tire them out and say to himself that no one will catch me next time.
5. Decline in self-esteem:
He
says to himself that I am a bad person who cannot act on my own, and
that my father and mother do not like me when I make mistakes.
How much time do we need for our child to get rid of his bad habits that we helped build in his diary and behavior??
Bad
habits do not take a long time for a child to get used to. For example,
he may try crying to pressure the adults around him to fulfill his
requests, and if they fulfill his request to be silent, he will repeat
the experience with every request they reject of him, and he will adhere
to this bad behavior and make it one of his daily habits.
In
order to get rid of a child’s bad habits that may have been built in a
short time, we need a long time because he will not abandon them as long
as he tries them with you and it benefits him, so we must be patient
with him until he changes.
We must try all methods that may be useful, convince him, and accustom him to new habits:
- For example, we may ignore his constant crying.
- If he doesn't stop, we may try threatening him with punishment.
- We may try to keep him busy with something other than what he is crying about.
We may punish him by depriving him of something he loves. The important thing is that you do not expect quick change from him.
And
remember that you are responsible for changing it for the better and
that with every suffering there is a corresponding reward, so why not be
patient and try and try until we succeed.
When do we consider a child’s behavior to be a problem that needs to be treated??
Parents
may seek urgent psychological counseling regarding their child’s
behavior and believe that their child’s behavior is abnormal, either due
to their ignorance of the nature of the child’s development or out of
extreme concern for the child’s safety and fear of diseases and
psychological disorders. The child's behavior may be normal and normal
depending on the stage he is going through, so it is very important to
know when your son's behavior is normal or satisfactory??
A child's behavior is a problem that requires treatment when you notice the following:
Recurrence of the problem:
This
behavior, which you think is abnormal, must be repeated more than once.
The appearance of abnormal behavior once, twice, or three times does
not indicate that there is a problem with the child. Why?? Because it
may be a temporary behavior that disappears automatically or through the
effort of the child or his parents, with simple guidance.
This behavior hinders the child’s physical, psychological and social development:
When
this behavior affects the child’s development and leads to his behavior
and feelings being different from the behavior and feelings of those of
his age.
The problem may limit the child’s competence:
Especially in academic achievement and gaining experience, and this problem hinders him from learning.
When this problem prevents the child from enjoying life:
With
himself and with others, which leads to a feeling of depression and a
weakening of his ability to form good relationships with his parents,
siblings, friends, and teachers.
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