Hello to all dear visitors to my child’s world, one of the smart ideas in raising children and controlling their behavior is for the educator to make an agreement with the son about the behavior he would like to adhere to, and we call this agreement the behavioral contract. This educational idea was applied to more than one child, and its results were very impressive in terms of controlling and correcting behavior without nervousness or violence. This technique is more successful with children over the age of 7 years because behavioral agreement with them makes them feel that they are adults and not children. It may work with younger children, but its success rate is weaker.
How is the agreement process done???
This agreement may be written between you and your child, and it contains terms and conditions, including rewards in the event of compliance and punishments in the event of non-compliance. One of the specifications of this agreement is that the terms that will be written are set by agreement and they are satisfied with them. It is not an imposition of opinion or coercion, but rather cooperation and agreement between the two parties. This is a beautiful feature that encourages the child to commit to behavior. This has a great educational impact, its results are quick, and it brings respect and appreciation to both parties.
For example, the father writes his name as the first party and the child’s name as the second party. Then he writes the subject of the agreement, such as that the child commits to playing electronic games for half an hour a day. Then he writes the privilege that the child will get if he adheres to this agreement, such as that an hour is added to the games every week if he adheres, or he writes the punishment. In the event that he does not adhere to the behavioral contract. We prefer that both parties participate in writing the agreement.
The importance of the child’s participation in the agreement’s work:
If parents succeed in applying the idea of a behavioral contract and an educational agreement between them and their children, this will teach the children several skills, including clarity, frankness, and expressing their needs, in addition to reaching an agreement and compromise between the two parties in the event of disagreement, without shouting or violence. They will learn the art of negotiations, defining responsibilities, commitment, and the importance of the word and assuming responsibility for it.
This
is what we mention as an educational method that was mentioned in the
biography of the Prophet. Our Noble Messenger, peace and blessings be
upon him, said to the honorable Companions, may God be pleased with them
(Beware of sitting in the streets), but the Companions conversed with
the Noble Messenger and said to him (We do not have to talk in our
gatherings), and we notice here that they expressed their need to sit.
On the streets because it is the place of their daily meeting and
conversation. When the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him,
heard their need and understood the necessity of their request, he
agreed to their proposal while setting some conditions, which is what we
call the behavioral contract.
He, peace be upon him, said: “If you refuse anything but sitting, then give the way its due rights.”
They said: (What is the right of way, O Messenger of God?)
He said: (Lowering the gaze, refraining from harm, returning greetings, enjoining good and forbidding evil)
In
order for the agreement to be successful, have your child participate
in it with you and express his opinion about the terms. The most
important characteristic of the educator is to be firm while
implementing the behavioral contract and not give many opportunities in
the event of violating the terms so that the contract does not lose its
value and strength and so that the child notices that the issue is
serious.
There is no objection to amending the behavioral contract from time to time.