Kids

Dealing with teenage boys: Problems of teenage boys and how to deal with them

Hello to all dear visitors to my child’s world. In general, children, especially in their teenage years, have a greatly elevated sense of ego, a tendency toward independence and leadership, and adopting opinions and orientations different from those of the family. They may also have a greater tendency toward conflict and disagreement with their families.

Understanding the nature of teenagers and that their actions and attitudes are the result of the physiological changes and emotional disturbances that they go through, paves the way for parents on how to deal with them , and saves them a lot of the daily suffering that they go through with them. To understand how to deal with male teenagers, you must first, of course, know the hormonal, psychological, emotional and physical changes that your teenage son is going through, as these changes almost completely control the actions and behavior of the teenager, especially during puberty, to ensure the proper treatment of this teenager in this sensitive and important period.

The most important effective steps to be good at dealing with teenagers:

1. Setting boundaries In the beginning, the parents must agree with the teenage son on a set of basic rules based on common values and principles, maintaining harmony with the family, and staying safe from dangers.

2. Agreeing on the consequences. It is important for parents and children to agree on the consequences that will occur when violating the rules that were previously agreed upon, but it is important to respect the age at that point. For example, the punishment may be deprivation of driving a car or going out with friends.

3. Self-reliance in correcting mistakes. There is an important method that can be resorted to with teenagers, known as recovery or response, which means that the son is responsible for the mistake he made and must fix it himself, such as bearing the money for a ticket or something he reserved without the prior knowledge of the family, and he must also take steps to repair the relationship with his brothers. After a quarrel, this helps him gain the trust of those around him.

4. Avoid harshness in dealing. Harsh or humiliating punishment makes things worse with your teenage son. Severe beating or imprisonment, for example, serves as a green light for children to make more mistakes, and even disasters out of stubbornness and revenge after feeling humiliated and resentful. This also causes an increase in the gap between father and son.

Problems of teenage male children:

When we talk about teenage problems, parents often point to reckless behavior or inappropriate behavior, but in addition to that, there are a number of serious problems that a teenager may experience at this age, most of which are due to a tendency to adventure, and they include the following:

-Smoking or drug use.

-Uncontrolled relationships and bad friends.

- Experimenting with alcohol.

- Dangerous and violent behaviors such as reckless driving, experimenting with weapons, or engaging in unsafe activities.

-Depression and perhaps thoughts of suicide.

What should a guardian do if he discovers that his teenage child is committing one of these harmful practices????

Your action regarding this matter should be divided into three stages:

1. The pre-confrontation stage:

- Before you decide that this is the right time to inform your teenage child that you are aware of his behavior, it may be better to make him admit it if you succeed in creating a safe space between you.

- Speak repeatedly and in many different situations and times about the danger of this bad habit and its negative effects in the short and long term. This could happen over dinner by talking about an article or video from a trusted site or a friend or relative's experience, for example.

- Focus on the negative effects that particularly concern your teenage child: health, money, social life...

2. Follow-up stage:

- Continue to follow up with your children after the confrontation.

Praise the progress that is occurring, show understanding for the difficulties the teenage child is going through, and support him. After the situation has passed, discuss with him and ask him about the lessons learned from it.

Educate your teenage child and provide him with information from a reliable source.

3. Confrontation stage:

Confrontation may occur either through you, or to avoid getting emotional, through a close person whom your teenage child loves and is attached to.

- If you choose another person, make sure that he is someone you trust, that your children will listen to him, and that he will not be violent or critical of him. Agree on what to say, possible scenarios for your teen's reaction, and how to deal with it.

It should be clear to your teen that you will not allow this unhealthy practice to continue, yet you will do everything in your power to get through this together, because you love and support him unconditionally.

- Involve the teenage child in developing a realistic plan that you agree on together to stop this unhealthy practice, and agree with him on the consequences of not adhering to this plan.

-If this unhealthy habit poses a threat to your children (such as drug abuse), consult a specialist doctor immediately.

- Establish the fear and observation of God and raise the degree of faith in closeness to God. Religious motivation is the shield that protects us and our children from these deviations.

The teenager and studying: his refusal to review and study:

A child in adolescence does not study enough and sometimes refrains from reviewing his lessons. What should you do?

be realistic:

It must be recognized that as much as intelligence is a skill, diligence is another skill that may not be among the skills your children possess. We should always support our children to reach the best of their potential, but sometimes we have to accept that this is the best they can do, and that we have to stop pressuring them in terms of studying and studying and instead explore their talents in other areas such as arts and sports to try to find out. What they excel at.

Show understanding:

Show your teen that you understand that it is difficult for him to sit for a long time studying something he does not like, and that you appreciate that he is doing this to make you happy and to have more time to play later.

Seek help from a doctor:

Some children may suffer from disorders that hinder their ability to learn and study, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. If your child's academic performance is severely affected by lack of concentration, consult a doctor.

Set the rules together:

- Start by asking him what you can do to help him focus better and feel comfortable studying.

- Listen to him and reach an agreement with him in which both of you commit to something.

- Agreeing together on the consequences means that you make him choose the consequences (not the punishment) for not adhering to the rules that you agreed upon together.

Think outside the box:

If your child is having trouble or difficulty with a particular subject, try to use some creativity to connect what he is studying to something he likes. For example: If he loves sports and hates mathematics and arithmetic, try using mathematics to explain one of the concepts related to sports, such as tournaments and calculating points.

To communicate with male teenagers, teenage boys are known to have weak communication skills, especially with family, and the solution is not to ignore or neglect.

The most important tips to take control of your teenage son:

- Avoid procrastinating in talking and keep things short and simple.

- Do not exaggerate in eye contact more than words. This may cause confusion and lack of attention to what is being said, especially when talking about a problem your son has encountered.

It is better to talk while doing something else, such as talking while taking a walk, walking together, or eating.

- Maintain a good amount of calm, avoid getting emotional, and do not let him be the master of the situation.

- Give your son enough time to implement what was discussed with him. Do not be disappointed if you do not find immediate results, as the teenager may need days to think about and study these matters.

- Instill in him the love of goodness, righteousness, success, and the desire to be better, but in a correct and sound way. Good luck to you and your children. Try with them and never despair of reforming them, for they are still children.