Hello
to all dear visitors to my child’s world, some educators are unaware of
the importance of listening to their children, especially in the first
years of their lives, so the child talks to one of his parents at any
time he needs to talk. The father or mother may not pay attention to
his child’s speech because he is busy and does not have time, and he may
often consider it trivial and a waste of time so they do not pay full
attention to it. From here begins the gap between the children and
their parents. The child searches for someone who cares about his
conversation, so the conversation with his parents no longer has any
importance, and the children may fall victim to destructive and other
thoughts. Therefore, we must be aware that no matter how trivial your
child’s talk is, leave everything that preoccupies you, give him your
hearing and sight, and turn to him with your body. Do not interrupt his
conversation and do not rebuke him if he makes a mistake in speaking or
behaving, but rather talk to him calmly and smile in his face. Here he
feels your care and love, and he will share all his conversations with
you and will resort to you in all his matters.
Your bad behavior with your child is considered an emotional-psychological assault on him:
It
is one of the worst types of assault to which a child is exposed, and
its harm is sometimes more severe than physical assault, such as:
1.
When a child comes to his parents to tell them about something that
happened to him, or to show off his drawings, he is faced with a frown,
rejection, or being asked to leave under the pretext that they do not
have time now.
2. To scold the child in another situation, saying to him: Why aren’t you like your brother or so-and-so or..
3. To be told: You are of no use, or you are not fit for anything in this life, or that your coming is a mistake.
4. To be told: I do not love you, no one can love you.
And
many other sentences and words that parents are accustomed to using,
which hurt the child and make him feel unimportant and worthless.
Some negative behaviors (emotions) that are considered psychological aggression:
-
Do not take time out from what the parents do to consider the child’s
needs. The child may suffer as a result of this negative behavior,
which, as it accumulates, may cause him many problems.
Saying
harsh words that hurt a child is an assault on him. Although they do
not leave physical effects like physical violence, they hurt him and
their impact extends to affect his mental and psychological health, just
as if he had been beaten.
The
parents, or those who take their place in care, need to know the
reasons for their loss of control and the anger that afflicts them so
that they can deal with them in the right ways, and so that the child
does not become a victim of their behavior.
What is the correct way to treat our children under the influence of life pressures??
With the child:
-
Dealing with him gently. The presence of an adult near the child
compensates for the love and tenderness that he loses from the parents
if he is exposed to emotional aggression.
-
Providing an explanation to the child that the insults he is exposed to
and the insults he hears are not his fault, but are the result of
another reason on the part of the parents.
It
is necessary to clarify and explain to the child that he is a smart
child and not stupid, and to say a lot of positive words in contrast to
the bad words he hears from his parents.
With parents:
- Urging parents to receive the necessary assistance to help them control their behavior.
-
Encouraging upset parents to get help for their child so that the child
behaves better and does things that make them angry and upset less.
- When you lose your temper ,
leave the place immediately. Follow the approach of our Noble
Messenger. Leave the place, change your body position and move. Ask
forgiveness and wash your faces until you calm down and regain your
ability to think correctly to reduce the rate of screaming and losing
your temper.
We
go through many stressful days, life pressures and tiring events, so we
lose our temper and end up yelling at our children. This is a
situation that is repeated often, and it is normal, but it is unnatural
that we do not apologize to our children, that we do not admit to
ourselves our exhaustion and the real reason for our anger, that we do
not explain to them the real reason for our anger, that we do not
explain to them the mistake and how to avoid it next time, that we hold
them accountable for childish behavior that is expected at their age.
Often
we get angry at our children for something that does not deserve anger,
and the reason for our anger is the many pressures of life on us. Let
us always remember that the way we deal with our children most of the
time is what affects and shapes their behavior, and let us note for
ourselves that they are not at fault and have nothing to do with it, and
we should differentiate. Between the pressure of life on us and the
pressure we put on our children, our children are not an outlet for us
from the pressure of life...
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